Recently a college training programme has reminded me of the various roles we play in our every-day lives when we respond to situations.
ADULT / CHILD / PARENT MODE = RESPONSES TO SITUATIONS /Eric Berne’s theory/
Which one do you operate from?
Eric Berne states when we act from adult mode in any situation:
We are respectful of the strengths of others, delighted with challenges and proud of our accomplishments and success. An adult mode allows us to respond constructively rather than react. Adult mode allows us to be appreciative of others and seek to understand by listening.
When we act from child mode:
Child mode could make us feel small, afraid, undervalued, jealous, demotivated and rebellious. We may withdraw, gossip, procrastinate or attempt to please.
When we act from parent mode:
A parent mode makes us feel superior, detached and impatient. This could result in us not listening, shout, harden our tone or criticising others instead of encouraging them. You may see some managers operate from this mode or even real parents.
WHAT IS THE AIM?
Our intention is to remain in adult mode as often as we can. This will help us gain confidence & feel good about ourselves and others. In adult mode you are seeking a win-win situation with others. You listen to others deeply to understand them.
So next time you respond to a situation, ask yourself: ‘What mode am I operating from?’ Child, parent or the constructive adult mode? Am I responding or reacting?
Fabulous life lessons:
– Career, Life, Leadership https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6DlrqeWrczs
– Inspiring words from Oprah
– J K Rowling on failure, depression & what she knows for sure